Operation Be Good To Myself

I haven't posted to el jay in a while, simply because I haven't had anything to say. I'm not one of those post every little detail that happens in my day type of people, and well, my life is a big bowl of suck for the past couple of months.

I had an epiphany recently, and this is what it is. If I continue to treat my body the way I treat it (partying, eating excessively, drinking, etc) I am going to die before I hit 26. I cannot keep this up. I'm not a rockstar and I don't want to be one. I'm 24, I have responsibilities in life, to my friends, my family, my job, and myself. And I have to treat myself well, because no one else will.

I've been sober for 8 days now, and have gone to the gym twice in that span. My goal is a 10-day sobriety detox period, followed by the introduction of alcohol back into my life. The thing is, it's fucking stupid to go out and just start bingeing again, so I have to be sure that whatever I continue to do, I do with moderation.

Anyways, Day 8. And I've been to bars, been out with friends, and have even gone hiking out in San Mateo. I'm exhausted but I'm not sick or broken or hungover or in pain.

Baby steps. I can do this.

Major Doubts with the Boom Boom

I've beginning to have major major doubts with how I live my life. Major doubts. Like "my whole world and everything I've ever learned is wrong" doubts. It was brought on by an automatic toilet flusher.

See, I realized, that everytime I use a toilet with an automatic toilet flusher, that it *always* randomly flushes the moment I move off the seat, post-boom boom. This gives me NO time to wipe, NO time to do anything but get off the seat and *[...flush...]* I then have to do all my dirty work, and do the wipe-wipe-wipe and then throw it into the toilet. I want the wipe-wipe-wipe to flush down, but it doesn't! I have to trigger the automatic flush sensor by waving my hands in front of the toilet. It flushes again - that is now two flushes for one bathroom excursion. When I leave, it senses the stall door moving, and again, a third flush. Images of the marketed Water Hog from my Southern California youth dance in my head.

So - is it just me? Am I wipe-wipe-wiping at the wrong time? Is this the universe's way of telling me that the way I've learned to boom boom and wipe-wipe-wipe totally incorrectly, that I should somehow already have wipe-wipe-wiped before I get off the toilet? I can't imagine that this be possible, but I've never seen anyone else's boom boom routine (and I'm NOT asking for volunteers). But the fact that it seems the people in charge would have programmed the toilet to flush once everything is done makes me believe I'm boom booming incorrectly. And somehow, this makes me feel totally and utterly inadequate.

Hecka StressED

I'm kind of stressed. I have hella to do since I'm leaving for Chicago on Sunday for two weeks for work. I gotta get a suitcase (hey, I barely leave the City, let alone the State, let alone long enough that I'd need a suitcase for it). I have to finish all my shiznitt for work up, and I have to go drink today. Ok ok, that's not a "have to" but it's a want to, and damnit, I just got a promotion and raise, so screw that.


So y'all know that my Vespa's named Gouda (she's Gouda da Scoota!).

Anyways, I stumbled onto the Wikipedia Hyphy page, and look what I found:

"Gouda" - (Goo-dah) Referring to Cheddar, Cheese, The Duckets, Skrilla, Benjamins, Grip, Greenbacks, Cash-Money, or most widely known as the US Dollar.

Dude, Gouda so street. I gotta gas-break-dip and ghost-ride da whip on the scooter more often. And how awesome would a scooter hyphy train be?

La Coupe du Monde

I was watching my first world cup football game ever yesterday to see Italy v. France. I was cheering for France because they have better wine and cheese, but then I was *really* cheering for France when that Zidane guy headbutted the Italian dude!

Seriously, who says French guys are wusses?!

I've been practicing his move (the Zidane) against various padded objects in my apartment (i.e. couch, pillow, exercise ball) and plan to use it the next time a homeless person asks me for crack money. Although I felt kind of dizzy this morning when I tried to headbutt the snooze button on my alarm clock.

We were all really wondering what the Italian dude could have said to set Zidane off. I think he said something like "Your momma's a spicy meatball! Gorgonzola Macaroni! Estupido Zucchini!" And then Zidane said "Croissant baguette!" and let loose.

This leads me to another idea - a streetfighter-type video game where people say the most stereotypical and culturally irrelevant thing when they do their power moves. Instead of "Yoga Flame!" or "Ha Doo Kin" they'd say "Chicken Tikka!" or "Sashimi!"

ETA: I've been practicing my moves with this game: http://gamesdr.com/accj/knock_materazzi_out.html

ETA: My masterful MSPaint Skills....

The Juicy Lucy - a South Minneapolis Special

From Wikipedia:
A juicy lucy (or jucy lucy) is a hamburger where the cheese is cooked inside the burger. A piece of cheese is surrounded by raw meat and cooked until it melts, resulting in a molten core of cheese embedded in the burger. Since this cheese is scaldingly hot and has a tendency to gush out over the lips at the first bite, most places that serve juicy lucys make a point of warning people that appear to be new to the establishment to let the burger cool before eating.

It is popular in the Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota area, and though it is in dispute, was apparently invented at Matt's Bar in south Minneapolis (Matt's is the source of the "Jucy Lucy" spelling). The 5-8 Club further south on Cedar Ave also claims to have invented the sandwich, although that restaurant uses the "Juicy Lucy" spelling. In some ways it can be considered the Twin Citian equivalent of the cheesesteak, and engenders similar feelings of protectiveness in some people. However, gourmet reinterpretations of Lucy are encouraged, rather than quashed (unlike similar and better-known signature dishes of other cities, like the cheesesteak or the Chicago style hot dog).

My version of The Juicy Lucy - 1.5 pounds of meat, 6 slices of cheese. You jeal.

The Juicy Lucy - a photospreadCollapse )

S - M - R - T! I am so smart!

So, there's this organization for my work that I'm supposed to join, and one of the things you have to have is a course in micro and macro economics in order to join. Me, I was too busy taking math, computer science, and art history courses in college to ever take a boring econ course. However, I read through the fine lines, and it appears if I can prove I took the AP Micro and Macro-econ exams and got at least a 4 on both of them, then I can qualify for the educational credit.

So, there's a lot of back-and-forth between me and my high school, since I thought they might have had my test scores on record. Long story short, I had to contact The College Board and request a transcript of my AP scores that I took seven years ago. They had to extract the scores from some archive since I had passed the four year threshold.

Anyways, so I finally get a copy of my scores yesterday. And I totally forgot how goddamn smart I am! I took 12 AP Exams in high school (grade 11 and 12) and got eleven 5s and one 4! I also received an AP National Scholar with Distinction award.

Add to the 3 subsidiary exams for International Baccalaureate, and 3 Higher Level exams (2 part exams, each part 4 hours) and me getting all 7s on those (I got in the newspaper because apparantly it's a challenge to get just one 7, and I got 6 of them) and I was one SMRT nerd!

No wonder all the colleges wanted me. :)

I know I'm bragging, but seeing these scores that I forgot, I know if I heard someone else do that today, I'd be pretty amazed.